Friday Night
by Captain Weirdo
Summary: Clarisse is bored and determined to have some fun.
1. Chapter 1

"Good afternoon, Your Majesty."

"Joseph," Clarisse barely acknowledged her swarthy bodyguard as she stepped past him into the limo. Joseph quickly shut the door and half jogged around to the driver's side. Evidently she was ready to get out of here.

He started the big black car and pulled into traffic before looking into the backseat through the rearview mirror. Clarisse was flipping through the pages of a report she'd picked up off the seat. She'd studied it all during the ride to the parliament building.

"Long day?" he asked.

"Absolutely, Joseph." She barely looked up from the paperwork. Joseph drove on in silence. After a few blocks, she sighed and tossed the paperwork to the side. "Bah. Enough work! Today is Friday, isn't it?"

"Absolutely."

"And it is nearly 5:00 o'clock as well. The end of the work week." She laughed a trifle sarcastically. "So, if there is no more work, what shall we do?"

"I take it your normal routine is not sufficient for tonight?"

"Absolutely. The fact that I even have a routine for Friday evening makes me feel old Joseph. I really don't fancy another quiet dinner followed by paperwork until bed time."

He laughed quietly. "Well, it's not as if you could stop at the pub for happy hour on your way home."

"I don't know why not." There was a hint of challenge in her voice.

"I do. Because you body guard would consider that to be a nightmare scenario for security and he would complain to your Head of Security. And that guy is a real son of a bitch and he would pitch a huge fit about it and there would just be an ugly scene which quite possibly would end with someone getting tossed on a shoulder and carried out of the pub and locked in the limo. That's why not."

"Fine, then. Give me another option, Shaft." She turned her head to look out the window, but he still caught sight of the smirk playing at the corners of her mouth.

"Excuse me? Shaft?"

She grinned at him in the rearview. "I noticed Lilly call you that several times. I had trouble sleeping last night, so I turned on the television. I watched the whole movie."

He rolled his eyes at her in the mirror.

She laughed. "Well, I did see a resemblance in your fashion taste. I must say I'm a little relieved that you don't have a lot in common when it comes to dialogue."

He smiled broadly at that. She could see the crinkles around his eyes, the ones that peeked out from behind his sunglasses when he smiled. She loved to see those wrinkles.

"What do you do on Friday nights, Joseph? I know you're often gone from the palace." She raised her eye-brows at him and said archly, "I've checked."

His laugh wrinkles deepened as he chuckled quietly. "I don't know that I want to tell you."

"Hmm. I imagine you have some lusty Spanish mistress somewhere. Does she cook, Joseph?"

He tried to look hurt. "I occasionally spend my Friday nights at a pub. An old friend owns it and plays in a small band that performs there on Fridays. Sometimes the drummer doesn't show up and I fill in for her."

"Shut up!"


	2. Chapter 2

Joseph laughed out loud.

Clarisse moved from her seat to sit directly behind the front seat. "In all the time I've known you, Joseph, how it is that you've never, never mentioned that you are a musician?" Clarisse asked.

"It just never came up. I'm only passable at best and drums are not an instrument conducive to solo performance at the royal palace."

"Please let me come and hear you play, Joseph." Clarisse was leaning on the rear of Joseph's seat, inches from his face.

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, trying to appear stern. "Absolutely not. It is no place for the Queen of Genovia to be seen. Its dark, and smoky and loud and - "

"Joseph, please!" Clarisse reached out and ran the back of her index finger up his neck, flicking the hair at the back of his head. "I'm bored. If you take me with you, you will at least know where I am and what I'm doing." She trailed her fingernail lightly down the nape of his neck.

He shuddered, then grinned wickedly. "If I take you home, you will be stuck in the palace and I will know where you are and what you're doing."

She laughed throatily and whispered, "No, you won't!"

He turned to look at her only to see her roll her eyes piously towards the ceiling in a gesture of mock innocence. He laughed out loud.

"Seriously, Joseph," she shifted back to her normal seat in the limo. "I'm not going to spend the evening traipsing around an empty castle. If you have plans, that's fine. But you'll have to let me out at the nearest taxi stand so I can figure out where I want to go on my own."

He signed loudly. "Clarisse, please. You know you can't do that."

"I see a taxi up ahead. Pull over." She reached for the door handle.

"Alright! Alright, already, woman!"

She smiled triumphantly at him. "So. Where are we going?"

"I don't know. Let me think a minute. If I pull over and stop, do you promise not to jump out of the car?"

"I'll give you ten minutes."

Joseph drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, not at all happy with the situation, but familiar enough with Clarisse's moods to know that she wasn't joking – she'd do something stupid and go off on her own if he gave her the chance.

He also knew that the reigning monarch could not simply accompany her body guard to a local watering hole on a Friday night. She might be ready to toss convention out the window, but he knew there would be hell to pay come daylight.

"Eight minutes," she stated matter-of-factly from the back seat.

He slapped his palm against the steering wheel in disgust. As he did, his eyes focused on the store he'd stopped next to. He had an idea.

He turned in the seat and said to Clarisse, "Check the cabinet under the seat. I think Mia left a bag under there last time I drove her from the airport. She changed from her traveling clothes to a business suit in the back seat. See what clothes she left behind."

Clarisse opened the cabinet and found Mia's duffle bag. She pulled out a pair of black yoga pants, a tank top and a denim jacket. Digging further she found a pair of worn flip flops in the bottom of the bag.

"This is all that's in there," she said, holding the clothes up for Joseph to see.

"That will work!" he said brightly. "I have to get something from this store. I'll lock the doors and you change into those clothes while I'm gone."

Clarisse wasn't thrilled with the idea, but resigned herself to Joseph's plan. If she didn't follow it, he wouldn't hesitate to take her back home. She could talk tough, but she knew she'd never be able to beat him at this particular game. She shrugged and raised the partition between the seats.

A few minutes later, she heard Joseph unlock his door and get in the car. He tapped a knuckle against the partition. "Is everything ok?" he asked.

"The pants are too long, the shirt is too small and I'll never be able to walk in these shoes," she grumbled. "Other than that, I'm perfectly peachy." She reached forward and absently lowered the partition while still working to arrange the tank top to cover as much of her cleavage as possible. She looked up to find Joseph grinning at her.

"You look fine," he told her as she struggled into the denim jacket. She was immensely thankful for it. Jackets always gave her a sense of security and control. Joseph handed her a box. "Put this on."

"I'm afraid to look." She gingerly lifted the lid. "A wig, Joseph?! Is this really necessary?" 

"Absolutely."

She took the wig out and eyed it with disdain. It was shoulder length, coal black hair. She reached for the button to raise the partition again. "Drive!" she said as he followed her eyes in the rearview.

Joseph pulled out into traffic and headed towards downtown. He stopped a couple of blocks from the pub – The Blue Winter. He got out and opened her door.

Clarisse tentatively stepped out of the car. She avoided making eye contact, but could feel his gaze sweeping up and down her body.

"Do you want to explain, now, why I'm dressed like this? And why this ridiculous hair?"

Joseph laughed. "I told you. The Queen of Genovia cannot possibly accompany me to The Blue Winter for the evening. However, a friend from out of town can. No one is going to recognize you, dressed like this."

"Fair enough." She looped her arm through his. "Lead on, brave knight."


	3. Chapter 3

Soon after they were seated at a cozy side table, enjoying a purely plebian dinner of hamburgers and fries. Clarisse munched happily and chatted merrily about nothing. Joseph began to relax slightly as he realized that no one was taking any particular interest in them.

"This is really quite fun, Joseph," she smiled at him, between bites.

"For you, maybe. But I'm a nervous wreck."

When she laughed at that, a large, long-haired man in an impossibly bright shirt and jaunty racing cap stopped behind them and placed a hand on Joseph's shoulder. "Who is your friend, Joe? I'm surprised you finally found a date."

Joseph smiled up as the man cuffed him on the shoulder. "Victor! How are you?"

"Forget me! Introduce me to this lovely lady." Victor smiled broadly at the Queen.

"Oh! This is a friend of mine – " Joseph fumbled momentarily, stunned to realize he had no idea how to introduce Clarisse.

She read his mind and reached across him to offer a hand to Victor. "I am Diana. Joseph and I are old friends. I was passing through and looked him up. I insisted he buy me dinner." She gave Joseph a wicked grin. "I'm also hoping to get to hear him play again. It's been such a long time."

Joseph glared at her as Victor smiled. "You didn't have to twist his arm very hard, I bet. And you are in luck – did Joseph tell you he sometimes plays with the band here? I will make sure he puts on a good show for you tonight, Diana."

"I can hardly wait," she purred.

Victor moved to sit down with them. Joseph squirmed uncomfortably. "Why the 'Blue Winter', Victor?" she asked as smoothly as if he were an old friend.

"The place was already named when I bought it. Didn't seem right to change it. I've always been fond of winter myself."

"Not I, I'm afraid. I spend all of winter desperately wishing for spring. Winter means being cooped up inside. I'd much rather be walking the gardens," she glanced at Joseph as she spoke.

"You enjoy gardening?" Victor asked.

"I don't do it much myself, but I love to walk through the public parks wherever I am. That's how I met Joseph, you know. " She lied like an accomplished felon.

"Really? I can't see Joe as much of a gardener!" Victor looked at Joseph, who remained silent. He was both desperately worried and absolutely fascinated by what might come out of Clarisse's mouth next.

"Well, he wasn't really checking out the plant life. He was at the park keeping an eye on your queen. She was doing some sort of charity benefit there or something." She playfully squeezed Joseph's upper arm. "He thought I was some sort of security risk, I suppose. He grabbed me and demanded to know what I was doing there and proceeded to frisk me, right then and there, in full view of the public. After that, I told him he owed me dinner. At the very least."

Victor roared with laughter and Joseph's color deepened noticeably. He glared at Clarisse and threw back the remainder of his beer in one big swallow.

"I always knew you were a sly dog, Joe," Victor told him. "But I never knew your job was so conducive to copping a feel from beautiful women. Perhaps I am in the wrong business."

Joseph tried to laugh, but it came out a little strangled. Victor stood to leave. "I'd love to sit and talk to you all night, Diana, but I guess I have to get back to work." He turned to Joseph. "I'll have you play in the first set, Joe. That will leave the rest of the evening free for your lady friend to tell you how impressed she is." He grinned at Clarisse and she smiled back.

"Fine," Joseph growled and motioned to the waitress for another beer. When he turned back to Clarisse she was smiling broadly. "Do you need more liquid courage, Shaft?"

"Yes, I do, Diana." He emphasized the name witheringly. She laughed.

"Where did you come up with that?" he asked.

"Diana was my mother's name," Clarisse said simply.

"And the story? I'm never going to live down your tale of 'public frisking'."

"Yes, I feel certain I'm doing absolute wonders for your reputation, Joseph, darling."

At that point, the band took the stage and Victor motioned for Joseph to join them. He threw one final glare in Clarisse's direction before taking the stage and sitting down behind the drum set.

He slowly, ever so slowly, removed his black leather jacket, never breaking eye contact with Clarisse. She smiled at him and unconsciously licked the corner of her upper lip.

The band played.


	4. Chapter 4

Clarisse didn't know any of the songs, but they were all hard, driving, sexy rhythms, certainly Spanish influenced. Joseph was magnificent – giving himself over to the music, he seemed to be truly in his element. Occasionally his gaze would leave the guitarist and stay towards Clarisse. She met his gaze, her eyes lingering on him even after he'd returned his full attention to the song. She couldn't believe she'd never know this side of him. He was so at ease with the drums – able to give life to his creative side. Yet, the creative nature of his passion was so obviously in line with his character. It was efficient, exotic and tinged with a bit of darkness and danger. Clarisse was completely enchanted.

When the set ended, he stood and slung his jacket over one shoulder. He shook hands with Victor and jumped lightly down off the stage. He took Clarisse's arm without even sitting down and pulled her to her feet.

"Joseph! That was incredible! Don't you want something to drink?"

"Later. We're leaving. Now." His voice indicated that this time there would be no argument. Not unless she wanted to be slung over a shoulder as unceremoniously as the leather jacket and carried from the premises.

She sighed and waved good-bye to Victor on stage. He tipped his hat to her and continued to play. In moments they were outside and headed back towards the limo. He was silent as he held the door for her and made sure she was securely locked away inside.

As he sat down behind the wheel, he noticed she'd raised the partition between them. He drove in silence for a bit. Then he heard the electric motor lowering the glass between them. He looked up.

She was sitting back in her accustomed seat, neatly dressed in the clothes she wore to parliament that day. She smiled at him as she adjusted her jacket.

"Thank you, Joseph," she said seriously. "I had a wonderful time."

"You are quiet welcome, Your Majesty." He smiled warmly at her. "I have to admit, you're Diana certainly made for an interesting evening. I, for one, was not bored."

She laughed quietly and turned to look out the window. They rode in companionable silence all the way back to the palace, each lost in their own thoughts.


End file.
